Well, we're a Striptease Townhouse... Kinda like a strip club, but soooooo much better.
We're reasonable. A glass of Prosecco is £10 and a double mixer is £15.
21 without exception. We don't make the rules, the Council does.
As many of our guests wear suits we recommend smart casual at the least. Please call ahead if you've already left home in a hawaiian shirt and are unsure.
We are licenced until 6am but last entry is at 2.45am.
That's a firm 'No'. Please don't try.

As you may have figured out by now, no.